Monthly Archives: June 2010

Storm [Subsides]

For the past fortnight I’ve been hit with nostalgia pretty bad. Deja vu’ if you will. These feelings have caused me t adopt old ways and means to aquire through ill-fated tactics that I thought I cast into the sea of forget fullness. Once or twice a year this feeling comes over me and I can’t flee from it. I RUN WITH IT. Truly on some Malcolm X “By Any Means Necessary”. My whole personality takes a shift for the worse. The proverbial lion roars out my chest. My proclivity to “act now, think later” takes the driver seat as my deductive reasoning doest take the back seat, but gets thrown out the window. My uber-rational care is reduced. Sometimes this ends well sometimes it doesn’t. I need a savior…NOW! Its about to storm.

“…if I need it I’ma get it however, God help me.” -Hov

My last post was very counterproductive rather than proactively threaputic, a my blog tends to be for me as the author. These spells I get in sometimes take over my daily operation and leave me reeling. Its my earnest plea to rid myself of such negative and destructive emotions. I shouldn’t need anyone to placate these feelings, I should face them head on and irradiate them. But after 5 years that’s easier said then done. For a short time my mind was tugged elsewhere, but now the pulling has stopped so I reverted.  But in realizing this strength is glean and the storm subsides.

But let’s not stray from what I came to say
To my beloved, think we need some time away/
They say if you love it, you should let it out its cage
And fuck it, if it comes back you know it’s there to stay/
It’s tugging, at my heart, but this time apart is needed…

-Hov

Advertisements

IDLTS: Nicki Minaj Edition

#speechless DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!

First of this isn’t about liking Nicki Minaj as a rapper, cause I think she’s pretty tough for a female. Maybe even better than Kimberly Denise Jones in her prime. But his is about her overall aura. *turns on Nikki Pt. 2 by The-Dream (No relation just my shit. Click it to listen!)* Let me give you a bit of history on Nicki before I get into my grippe with her. Nicki Minaj’s government name is Onika Tanya Maraj. Onika, which i think is a pretty sexy name, is from Queens and is of black, Trinidadian, and Indonesian decent, hence the eyes. By the way, even though she’s Indonesian, the Harajuki district is in Japan. But it’s her gimmick not mine so who’s to judge. But anyway she got discovered of MySpace and through several blowjobs got hooked up with Wayne. The rest is Barbie history……     

 Lucky for Onika she came out at the perfect time. Kim was out becoming Asian, Eve was focusing on acting, and Inga lost her hearing…so enter Nicki, it doesn’t hurt being with Dwayne either. Apart from her come up Nick Minaj is a pretty strong lyricist. She packs a big bite and is intelligent enough to string witty, sexual, rapid fire rhymes. Explore:      

 I done came up in it a little bit self-centered, but did I kill  a Queen/
Alexander McQueen’s got a wrist on glow, the bottles is on po’/
Got that shimmy shimmy yeah shimmy yeah ya!
What the fuck I look like bitch I run this town/
I ain’t coming out for less than a 100 thou’/
Man, the last time I checked I was bubbling out/
Got to turn down shows, out in Dublin now.
Wait, wait hold on, maybe they didn’t get that here/
Like 11 hundred horses when I switch that gear,
Swerve on them sorta like I missed that deer/
Press that little button on the sit back chair!
Bitch I do it cause I get it/
I got billion dollar credit,
if you got a million dollars you could put it up and bet it/
I just be like “Hello, hello!” but I never could salute them,
Young money I do it for the youth dem!
     

  Fire, wordplay, intelligence! And herein lies my problem: THE GIMMICK IS TOO DAMN MUCH! With that skill you mask it in all that bullshit. The biggest and worst part is that dumb ass voice that she throws on in the midst of some pretty good lyrics. It’s so anti-climactic and for a nigga like I, if I was out with her and all a sudden she just popped her eyes out and started yelling, I’d call the exorcist. When you have that much skill I don’t see the advantage in doing that shit. A friend of mine’s guilty pleasure is “Your Love” so I downloaded it (cause I don’t listen to the radio, at all) and it doesn’t sound bad, well apart from the chorus and the sample of “No More I Love You’s” by Annie Lennox. It made me like her more. With verses like: “Anyway I think I met him sometime before/In a different life or where I recall/I mean he was Adam, I think I was Eve/But my vision ends with the apple on the tree/’S’ on my chest cuz I’m ready to save him/ Ready to get buck on anybody that plays him/ And I think I love him, I love him just like I raised him/ When he call me mama, lil mama, I call him baby/” whats not to like. I mean that’s a little softer but the lyrics is still present. Also her singing isn’t that bad and she sing on that track with auto-tune assistance. I think she should sing a little bit more, like she does on the Wayne Rebirth track “Knockout”. Even though the cut is kind of cheeks she shines in sing the chorus until she steps out of Nicki and goes Barbie with: “Then hit him below the belt i wanna give him good top, TOP! TOP…blah blah blah” She needs to learn when to tone it the fuck down sheesh! Next is the fact that she never really reveals her body and  not that she has to, but it matches her lyrics and persona and moreover she wears costumes that tease it. Let me get this out of the way, fake or not, HER ASS AND BOOBS ARE HUGE. Let’s get a little sexier Nicki! #imjustsaying. I saw her with Young Money on MTV’s Springbreak special fuckery and she had on full neck to ankle body thing on. You’re killing me Nicki! Entrance me! Finally, the damn hair and costumes. The pink, red, blue, green, rainbow, fuchsia, electric beige! Keep it Revlon, blonde, brown, black! And then the dominatrix leather all the time. Don’t get me wrong some of its sexy but most of it is haughtily extra. EXTRA IS NOT SEXY (see below). I’ve seen her look so gorgeous when just being regular. She’s already mixed with a super body made of plastic, why not just be that. You look good, you spit good, and you can make a song, eff the rest. In DJ Khaled’s “All I Do is Win (Remix)” video she looks too good amidst all the faux thugs rapping.     

    Dear Nicki, keep the regular hair and some sexy clothes. Drop crazed voice and rap and sing. You made it baby, you can drop the gimmick now. I want to like you, but for now I cant. I hate to do this but for now I’m going to have to hit you with the Bighead Rico and say “I DON’T LIKE THAT SHIT, MMM MM, I DON’T LIKE THAT SHIT!”                            

“I DON’T LIKE THAT SHIT, MMM MM, I DON’T LIKE THAT SHIT!”

   

SEXY!!!

   

NOT sexy!!!

         

Nikki @ 2:40

RT: #heaintgonechange

  

Though I say a lot, I dually observe as well. I love Facebook, but Twitter is a little tighter so it lends to more observation. Twitter also has a 1-up in the trending topics or #TT department. This allows you to put the “#” before a word or phrase (leaving out spaces, example: #icanwrite) and you can click the link it automatically creates, in turn you can see who says the same thing and in what context they are saying it around the globe. I was recently on Twitter and the trending topic was “#ireallywish” and #oneofmyfollowers  preceded to tweet a serious of trending topic tweets about her relationship, or whatever you want to call it because a relationship is two sided. But in any event, she would trend things like “#ireallywishhedtakemoreofanintrestinme” or “#ireallywishhecaredmore” or “#ireallywishyouwouldntkeepyourphoneonvibrate”. And then in the next breathe I’ll see picture of her and him on FB hugged up and in love buffoonery. And that brings me to another occurrence I see that irks me, I hate when I see a girl with her profile picture of her and her dude all joe and in love, but then on his profile picture it’s just him chillin on his solo dolo. Why as a girl would you allow that or succumb to that standard. Now a word few words come to mind (pathetic being in the forefront) but it’s disheartening to see a young woman be so tossed and unfurled over such an obvious dead situation. I see these things so often and to be honest I’ve probably been the catalyst to one or two statuses myself, so in this light I lend my hand to you ladies. 

  

*SORRY TO ALL MY NIGGAS AND MALES OUT THERE BUT I HAVE TO WRITE THIS FOR THE LADIES*  

This is for all my friends that are girls out there. Pay attention to this next sentence…In most instances a nigga/male is not going to change after you’ve set a precedent of accepting unacceptable behavior. And I say “in most situations” because there’s an exception to every rule, but it’s slim to none. Its like my homie Nazhia Allen said in a recent status, “…Ladies you don’t attract bad guys…you accept them…” A nigga is like a jungle animal, if he senses weakness he’s going to exploit it. It’s selfish but true. He’s going to do what he gets away with unless you’re in love and he is in actual love. Because when you LOVE you compromise and accept, there’s no need to look elsewhere for anything.  But anyways to my next rule or precept, if you will is: In most situations a nigga/male is never going to change. I think this the greatest misconception lie that women tell themselves: I CAN MAKE HIM CHANGE. There’s like .02% chance of this happening. [Sidebar: In recent history some psycho bitch thought we was together or at least on the cusp. We was far from it, she concocted this all in her rabbit ass mind! She thought she was going to make me want to be with her by buying shit and be a lunatic. #falsebitch! #sorryhadtovent]  A nigga is never going to change on your say so. There has to be an earnest want to change and if he hasn’t in the past the propensity that this will happen is a lesson in futility. I’ve often said I’ll change but I never EVER did unless I came to some epiphany. And more times than none it’s not a change for love, it’s a change for situation or convenience. Of course a nigga is going to say he’s going to change if you as the female hold the key to all some of the things he holds dear: constant sex, food, a roof, the fact that at the end of the day you’ll be there to love him (even if it’s not reciprocated). At the end of the day a nigga may say he loves you but in actually LOVES YOUR SITUATION. A man will do almost anything to have his situation be appeasing in his eyes. A MAN’S SITUATION IS HIS LIFE. Another thing I see a lot of females say is I wish he spent more time with me. Next principle: If a male/nigga has the ability and time to spend with you and doesn’t he doesn’t really cherish you.  Now this isn’t always true 100% but I’d at least say ¾ of the time. I’ve been love a few times and beyond sickness or tiredness there’s was no way I’d be away from that someone who held the key to my happiness. Now I know niggas got shit to do (it’s probably someone else lol) but not all the time. Of course a guy needs time for the “male camaraderie” that you gals hate so much lol. But if it’s the dead of summer and he’s in the crib all day every day that some type of quandary. #imjustsaying if I love you I want you around the same amount 100 days in as I did 10 days in. That’s just me. The most passionate relationship I ever had, even though it’s over now, was forged so strong because of our determination to see each other no matter what and no matter what anyone said or felt about it. It’s why I still have such strong feelings for her to this day, even though the hate feeling is catching up. #itsathinline. Anyways I’m not going to divulge it all but before I try to turn this Saturday night into something there’s one principle left I’m going to “light bulb” you on: If a nigga/male says he’s coming back or is going to be with you again after he fucked up or left, MAKE SURE YOU CONSULT THE AFOREMENTIONED PRINCIPLES. This may be ill-timed or insensitive but to some people but I apologize. I’ve see this most recently. A nigga hit you with the gas head but his actions don’t match his words. If I tell you I want you I’m going to do everything I can so you feel it every minute of every day, especially if you’re giving a second chance. Flowers, cards, candy, texts, whatever. And the easiest yet, less occurring action is to be around. If I tell you I want to be with you everything else that menial or trivial is going to have to take the backseat because I’m coming at you with a barrage of ME. A full onslaught of I. You may have to tell a nigga to go away. When a man wants something he does whatever it takes, FUCK a comfort zone. If he won’t step out of his comfort zone you don’t mean that much. I hate people but for someone that I care about I’d meet every family member they had, drunk ass aunts, molesting uncles, whoever.  It’s so selfish and inconvenient and fucking ignorant for a motherfucker to tell you he’s going to do something and then put forth a half-assed effort as if your time isn’t precious. You deserve more than that. I’m going to tell you a huge secret, fuck it lets make it another precept (it’s probably the most important: YOURE VAGINA (PUSSY, COOCHIE, VA-JAY-JAY, KITTY KAY, BOX ETC…)IS THE GREATEST WELDABLE POWER IN THE UNIVERSE! Men will go to depths unknown for it, jump off a bridge, swim in shark infested waters, come over stateliness, whatever just for the POSSABILTY of getting it. The most powerful men in history have been tripped up by it, so WEILD IT. And I know it sounds ho-ish but niggas use what they got, you use what you got. You’re ability to consent and move the femur ball in your pelvis’ socket (open your legs) is the legend to every map, the conclusion to almost every situation, and the reason why a nigga does 70% of the things he does. A man washes, brushes his teeth, goes to work so he can buy nice things, hold the door for you at the mall (Chris Rock) all to attract you and your box ;-). Make it count. The only reason it’s devalued is because when you say no some other girl says yes. As soon as she opens her legs with no type of feeling or conditions your flower just lost three of its petals (READ: Laws of Attraction for mor insight on that).  

I didn’t write this for fan fair or accolades but it hurts my heart to see so many girls get hurt and vent on social networking, or me directly, due to my niggas and sometimes me. I thought this could help level the playing field a bit. Good luck to you ladies and happy hunting to my niggas!  

   

…by the way this isn’t directed at anyone or bout anyone in particular. It’s across the board what I’ve seen.  

“I Don’t Like That Shit”: Nigger Bait

I’m creating a new segment entitled “I Don’t Like That Shit”. Now when you say it you have to say it like Tyrin Turner in Belly while he eats his banana. This segment is inspired by my pet peeves and all the thing I simply disdain. So here goes the first IDLTS:

I can’t stand the fact that thy have commercials geared towards black people that always seem to have rapping and dancing in them. You’ve seen the commercials, most of them are McDonalds commercials. Its as if all we know how to do is rap and ball. Its the marketing tool they use to bait the African American demographic. You scarely see the African-American CEO on a McDonalds Frappe commercial, you see the nigga at the club wanting McDonalds because they stay up late. A bunch of jiggaboos and minstrels rapping and dancing around to a Big Mac on a turntable. Or Drake’s bitchass in the booth drinkin a Sprite when his ass know he only drinks expressos! Boost mobile’s whole marketing campaign was geared towards urban markets with the tagline “Where you at???” #epicfail…like I said, “I Don’t Like That Shit”

Laws of Attraction

A friend of mine asked me to write about this, here my spin on it. Most post millennium attraction is superficial. Attraction is generally the easiest part of any relationship. Here’s a scenario:

You’re in the club, she walks by dressed clad in….not much of anything, you walk up with all the confidence SWAG you can muster, and in the most debonair voice you could imitate and ask for her number, she the obliges, obviously glamoured by your clandestine charm. REALITY: You’re both in the club, she probably snuck out. He has a child and just had to get away from his responsibilities and feel good. She wears close to nothing because that what she saw on T.V. and that seems to work for them. She doesn’t believe much in her brain because to show that off would be radically polarizing. He talks to her cause her clothes dictate that certain activities came with the dress like accessories. She feels he’s so nice and cool trying to take me somewhere soft to talk, so fatherly she thinks (she hasn’t seen her father in years). She forks over the numbers, and generally her panties.

And that’s the reality of most bullshit attractions, that there is no true foundation.   After this most of these relationships go nowhere except to the bedroom of course. +1 point for the male. Now there are several different ways that the story could have gone but in my eyes most scenarios are in that feasible region (algebra analogy 😉 ). But what can you expect from the venue where this takes place? It’s like going to a waterpark and expecting not to get wet. The club commands less decorum then let’s say a church, library, or street for that matter. The dark, the sweat, the body reverberations…it’s a place fit for in a females case: dancing, partying, and having fun; for a male: drinking, grinding, and body call hunting. Now for you club goers, you may feel like I’m demonizing something that you deify, but what type of connection can you make at a place where the decibel level is on average 110 decibels (32 times as loud as a normal conversation). How much can you figure out about a person beyond ass and tits in a place like this? Now I’m not “hating” on clubs, they have their place just like everywhere else, but not for preliminary courtship.

A female once told me and my crew that she wouldn’t give a guy her number if he just walked up in the mall and asked for it. Now I agreed and knew why before she explained but you could read the inquisitiveness on the rest of their faces, novice’s lol. She went on to illuminate them on the fact that a guy could not know her enough to want to know more just by walking by, which I agree with. She further clarified that if the guy was to be in a place with her and friends and had a chance to at least listen to her talk, view her interactions with her friends, and vice versa, that then she would give bless him with the coveted number. Now I wouldn’t go as far as this because time doesn’t always permit this situation but maybe a few well-placed questions that I could at least glean some background information would suffice. We as human beings will never be able to side step, for the most part, raw physical attraction, but to know the outcome has a exponentially greater chance of longevity if you get to know someone further then their chest.

Another way to meet people is social networking like (Facebook, MySpace (kill yourself), Tagged (kill yourself twice), Twitter, Skype, etc….). This is kind of chancy depending on the way a person’s profile is set up but the laws of attraction generally are the same unless, like Facebook, you can see interest, hobbies, movies, and such. This could assist in the attraction. But most males I know use it like he club. I see your picture (probably taken at the club) and it’s sexy so I’ll inbox you what I’d say at the club and then so forth and so on. This isn’t always the case but a lot of the time it is.

Finally here’s my shtick. What attracts me besides thighs and breasts is the way a woman carry’s herself. If she walks with confidence and doesn’t feel the need to be boisterous and be seen that’s attracting. If she has on clothes that are understatedly sexy and classy, not too revealing that’s attracting. Now those were first glance impressions, now if we actually are found in a place where I could deduce more these are attractive…she speaks with confidence and pride, not vanity. When she talks she’s not so verbose that it’s a turnoff but can mix it up with every day vernacular, that’s attractive. When she talks about her loves in life with passion, that’s attractive. Oh and last but certainly not all, when she has a plan or a dream for the future, not a pipe dream but a clear decisive mood to get there, that attracts me. Now I never really walked up to a girl and hit her with the “Hey, baby what yo name?” Maybe it’s a confidence factor or not knowing exactly what to say but I’ve never been that “dude”. I think because my potency is in my intellect that I can’t effectively get that across in a drive-by situation so I don’t try from that angle. I have the ability to execute a “lion swiftly tackling a gazelle” power move (I mean how hard could it be lol.) and I definitely have the face for itJ. But my time is very precious, too precious for me to put in time to find out whether I like YOU more then I like your face, chest, thighs, and butt (I underlined my vices). So if I ever step out of my comfort zone to see if our magnets attract on another’s, it will be multilevel attraction rather than pure aesthetics.

 

…comment in the box below and let me know about your thoughts or experiences.

The Art of Storytelling pt. 1

I don’t know what this post is going to be about, but since I told my baby daughter’s mom that I was using her computer for work I suppose I should write something. Here goes nothing….

Is this what pain feels like? The kicks and punches had started to numb due to their consistency. He knew it would catch up with him sometime, but he didn’t think it would happen on today of all days. Its funny, he thought, how I come up with these quandary during a vicious attack. I never have been good at focusing on the task at hand. He was enveloped like a cocoon by the barrier of cowards attacking him. All this for her?  His thoughts began to fade, as did his vitals. With his last conscious glance he saw a flicker……

…to be continued.

…I will write a paragraph a day, follow along.

Dougs and Patty Mayonnaises

“When you love/like somebody and bite your tongue all you get is a mouth full of blood.”

Though I’d like to take credit for this painful and plasma filled quote, I happen to hear it on a show that I scantily watched last night. I found the quote to be true, so I turned it into my status, garnering  8 comments and 8 likes. So in that I know that my subject matter will hit home base for some people. The quote in simplest terms means: you have not because you ask not or a closed mouth doesn’t get fed or my favorite I don’t read minds.

In high school my friends and I weren’t the most popular students but we were known and had friends. But that doesn’t usually help in the female department. So we did what we did in that respect, and got what we got when we could. Our “could” probably could have been stronger but we were timid and lacked the self-confidence that we’ve acquired today. Now at our current age, after graduating, and with the inception of Facebook and Twitter, and social networking as a whole, we are able to keep up with high school friends and the girls , now women, that we had the privilege of seeing drooling over in the hallways and stairways. To that end, my friends and I have found that we have several cases in common where the same things are said about us now, and I quote a friend of mine:

“Hmmm it’s crazy when someone tells you they had a crush on you for so long but they never wanted to say anything because they might think the outcome might be bad. And now they have a life of their own when they could’ve shared it with you.” © Byron Marshall

And though this isn’t as eloquent as I would state it, it is poignantly true. Since I’ve graduated, those girls who would laugh with us but not give us the time of day seem to be inboxing us fairly often with reminiscence and proposals to chill hangout. Now in high school these were the girls who dated  tough guys (well as tough as you can get for Pennsauken, smh) and the sports guys, while we were labeled the funny “good guys”. And as time has transpired they’ve fell off and we’ve leaped on. It’s very interesting to me because we’re still the same people but I guess our stock has risen (Call us the NASDAQ Boys lol), and the bad boy mystique has dwindled their ages have ascended. I’ve heard so many testimonials like, “You know I always liked you and you were so funny, I wish you would have tried to talk to me…” or “I had a crush on you for so long but I was with so-and-so and it just wouldn’t have worked cause we hung around different cliques.” This gets me every time, because you never know what could have come of those possible situations, it could be nothing but then it could be EVERYTHING. So when it come to being fond of someone, not just attracted, cause attraction is often shallow, you should SPEAK UP! They could be your potential Doug or Patty Mayonnaise. FUCK what people think because you’ll come to find that in the scheme of things they scarcely matter. They’re just a bunch of Roger Klotz’s.  Don’t wait until years have passed and so many things have changed. Tomorrow isn’t promised so make the best of what you have. Don’t put those unneccessary lacerations in your tongue; just make an attempt because the possibility of love is always worth the risk.

 …what the worst they could say?………………….. No?