Monthly Archives: July 2011

The Why

Alot of people use the cliche or slogan “actions speak louder than words”. It seems good but thats never held true for me. On the crust the aphorism seems legitimate, and at the bare minimum it is. But being the type of person that I am, a self proclaimed sophist, I don’t subscribe to things quite that easily. In my mind (it’s a crazy place) I see things from a different angle. As it were action can speak louder than words in a mere visceral sense. In a “SHOW ME THE MONEY” “GIMME WHATCHA GOT” sense. But in advocation of “words” I dare to say that action nor words speak the most boisterous but THE WHY. The why is the apex for me. Because in essence the way is the catalyst of the “actions” and the “words”. The why is very tricky though because it lends to a persons moral, experiences, and personality, which in itself is impossible to decipher or to know . But to me it’s the most accurate definitive gauge on a person’s actions and words. Now don’t get me wrong some people plain show you who they are but other may say they want to be something or do something but are unable to due their “why”. And in this light I’ve tried to understand people as much as I can. And this can often be tedious and invasive if done brashly or insensitively, but it can also help you and save you from anger, pain, heartache, and the like. Follow me here…if I understand how your mind works and where your thought process have their genesis, I can therefore make accommodations for your actions and words in relation to me. For instance let’s say I’m with a girl that refuses to bend when it comes to certain things that generally seem common practice amongst her gender, and subsequently we argue about them. Now a “words” and “action” person may immediately turn to selfishness or apathy. And you can see why this inclination could easily be valid. But in my head its more of a question of why. What if unbeknownst to she has this problems or aversions because she experienced hardships due to seeing them second hand or in a past relationship. Or maybe she wants to but she can’t get past herself to do so (which is a totally different and noteworthy conundrum I plan to tackle later). I’ve learned that the majority of people are inherently good. They don’t mean to hurt or scar the people they are in interpersonal relationships with but it’s something that happens as a result of contributing factors. But let me make this clear LIES aren’t included. You should always be honest. I’d have more respect for a person that made a mistake for various reasons but told the truth about it rather then a person that lied for selfish reasons. But anyways to understand a person and their tendencies is a means of leveling with the person. Now this doesn’t mean just TAKE THE BULLSHIT THEY SHOVEL OR STICK AROUND but it will save you pain and time. And my second point is when you have an understanding of a persons train of thought, it can open dialogue and become a means to change or alter that thought. My thing is that you can’t just look at words and actions but look deeper into where they had their beginnings. I look at it like my old math teacher. Even if the problem was wrong she gave us credit for our work because she could see how we arrived at the final answer, wrong or not. So she could level with us and give us partial credit.